Ahh, time now for some scribbling from the little town of Clymer. So I made it back yet again. I'm going to get 3 assignments out of the way and still be short on some portrait work I'm pretty sure.   Its all my fault because I need to start going up to people and talking. I was gonna go to a basketball game last night and find a cheerleader to pose for my uniform assignment, but then my friend backed out so I didn't go...cuz I'm a loser.

Wow, I don't think I wrote about my unusual experience with my nephew from last week so I'm gonna do it now. We were in my room setting up the lighting equipment for some shots I was gonna take and we were having a conversation [ as much of one as you can have with a four year old child ] and all of a sudden he looked off to his right and was like "I don't know what she's doing" and then turned back to me and kept talking.

So here I am, weirding out, probably for no reason besides he's a kid and probably makes stuff up; imaginary friends, etc. But it was so creepy and believable that he talked to somebody. And then he said somebody was in my closet and they were choking on a bone. And I asked him a question about it and he answered it pretty smoothly. Not like he had to think about it to make it up or something. So maybe I should quit reading Sylvia Brown books cuz I'm freakin' out now. I wouldn't even sleep in my room that night cuz I'm such a chicken. And then my moms been noticing some weird things around the house, too. But my dad thinks we are both nuts and that its because we both read the SB books. Power of suggestion is strong, and it may be the case, but I'm undecided at this point.

I do believe in all of that afterlife stuff, but not really since last summer. The books actually make me feel better about everything. Especially after my best friends dad died and then when we all lost a friend last summer. It just makes things seem more right in my head, at least. I wasn't raised with much religion at all, I was never really interested in it at all, and was even mad at my mom when she used to make me go to Sunday school. So now that I have reason to think about death, [ which I do, and think it waaaay too often-almost a back of my mind obsession, I seriously think I have some sort of problem ], I have questions and am starting to realize what my beliefs are. Its a peaceful feeling, to believe in something.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 00:15 | link | comments (1) |

Holy hell this weeks bustin me up. Been at school til past midnite twice this week and I have to go in again tonite. I thought I was in pretty good shape until I realized that I messed some stuff up and I have to go back home again. Not so thrilled about that, but if I want a good grade it has to be done. This time I'm making the trip alone, so lots of driving is gonna drive me insane. Its gonna be a supershort trip because I have to leave early so I'm back in time to watch the Super Bowl. [ Go PANTHERS ]   

So anyway, Saturday is gonna be alright because I'm going to a snowmobile race thing with my brother. I don't ever do anything with my brother, so I'm kinda glad about it. I'm also going to shoot it for my photojournalism assignment.

I just made plans with my best friend and I'm heading down to New Orleans to see her over my spring break. Definitely looking forward to that. Aww crap I can't believe its already almost 7:30. I have to go in and shoot, but I'm debating on watching Friends first and then heading in. Most likely thats whats gonna happen. Yeah cuz I have to eat. I just made a sweet potato casserole and its damn good...blog atcha later

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 19:19 | link | comments |

Whew, worked at school in the digital lab til midnite. Now I'm just wasting precious sleeping time by being on the computer. I'm addicted, but it doesnt bother me so much, but it irritates my boy :) Thanks to Mictlan for helping me out with the resize issue! All is well again in my oh-so-exciting life...

Oh my aching wisdom teeth...they are giving me a wicked headache :( I took some Excedrin PM hopefully it'll help knock me out shortly. My teeth are gettin all shoved around and it seems they don't line up right anymore and thats so uncomfortable. My dentist told me 3 years ago I should get 'em pulled because two of em were growing towards the other ones and not up through the gums. I still don't regret not getting them out. Maybe if this keeps up I will have to do something about it. I really don't want to live on ice cream and pudding for a couple weeks. Anybody have any idea how long it hurts after you get them out?

I'm so glad I get to sleep in a lil tomorrow, since I didn't get to sleep in this past weekend I didn't get to catch up on my sleep and I'm dragging ass. I got my pictures back today...the teachers are definitely gonna know I didn't shoot my assignment entirely in the studio like we were supposed to. Hopefully it doesnt kill my grade. Guess I'll find out in about a month. Alright well staring at a computer screen the past 4 or 5 hours is not helping the whole headache situation so I'm going to bed. I am gonna leave you with another picture that I took a couple weeks ago in the portrait studio...I hope you don't mind.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 00:57 | link | comments (1) |

Alright well I'm really tired so I'm just going to share a lil something with you. Its really nothing great but, for those of you that use AIM theres this thing you can type to sn: smarterchild, and I took the personality test. This is what it came up with for me:  

---People are drawn to you because of your inviting warmth. People often describe you as lucky, but the secret to your many successes is being able to pursue your goals in a confident, but never abrasive manner. You have managed to achieve an important sense of balance. You are able to politely, but firmly, set limits when necessary. Bravo!---

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 23:45 | link | comments |

damn whats going on with this thing....I think I need to shrink my pic. Anybody know how to make the main part of my page bigger so that it'll fit my right sidebar where it belongs??

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 19:24 | link | comments (4) |

No classes today, had a guest speaker, Jay Meisel. Funny guy, great photographer.

I am so exhausted today, the weekend wiped me out. I didn't do a whole lot, but all the driving and all the lugging of camera equipment took its toll. Luckily I got 4 assignments done while I was home. I won't see the results til tomorrow for 3 of them and I cant wait! I hope they turned out well enough, I dont want to have to reshoot because that would defeat the purpose of going home and I'd have to find new people to shoot out here. No good. Anyway, here is a picture I made for one of my assignments:

Sorry if thats super big...I don't know how to resize it without making it look bad. It definitely doesnt look as good on here as it does on my transparency but ya get the gist of it. Hmm, is it gist, gyst, jist or what? I dont think I've ever wrote that before. Pretty soon my updated website will be online and then I'll put the link back up, it'll be much better than the last, plus I have some pictures that I actually like to replace the other ones that were basically place holders.

Okay gonna get going for now. Maybe I will post more later. Lots of stuff running through my head that I'd like to get out.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 19:19 | link | comments |

Well, I had a whole lot of stuff I was going to write about today but I am wicked tired from my longer than expected trip home. It took me exactly eight hours to get home, as soon as I hit Buffalo the snow was coming down so hard. So driving between B-lo and Fredonia was awful and painfully slow.  So tomorrow is going to be super jam packed with photographing people and buildings. Not so much looking forward to it because everything got screwed up today. I am looking forward to it, just wishing I had an extra day to do it all in.

Maybe tomorrow I can write about some of the things that were on my mind for tonites post. Guess you'll have to check back tomorrow night

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 02:17 | link | comments (5) |

Wow, this week is flying by! I don't feel too bad about it because I have gotten some things done for once. I got back my second transparency today and it looks pretty damn good . Also we had critique today for portrait work and it went over very well. The "big guy" liked my stuff and thought I did a really good job. I wasn't so sure about it but its nice to hear other peoples opinions.

So I'm going to make that long ass trip home this weekend to shoot some familiar faces and places.  So those of you that will be in the area, gimme a holler. I already have everything pretty much set up for all my assignments. It feels so good to be accomplishing something early. I'm normally one of those people that do things at the last minute. I've gotten a little bit better about that.

Ooooh and I got groceries! No more living on popsicles and toast, hurrah! I can't wait to go home and have even one nice home-cooked meal...mmm I want banana cream pie, real bad. Mmm I love food so much-I just don't have the time to make nice yummy things. I've actually lost about 10 pounds since I've moved out here, which is kinda bad. I don't really need to lose weight, I just need to shape up my ab area. 

I'm thinking maybe I'll join a gym after I graduate. I don't have time for it now, but realistically, I may never have time for it. So who knows. I just need a work out partner. I've always been like that, and thats stupid. I need someone else to keep me going or help me commit to something, I need to change that.

Oh its time to end this thing, I need to pack up for my trip home. Later y'all   

 

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 17:15 | link | comments (8) |

Todays horoscope seems to be somewhat on target--

Aquarius:

     It may not be easy to deal with superiors,

but if you are accommodating, you will get much

   further ahead. Keep your secrets to yourself

               and don't share your ideas.

Or the one in the NY Times is pretty good, too:

Forget about yesterday and the day before that because all that matters now is today and tomorrow and the future you are going to create for yourself. As the sun moves into your birth sign and a new solar year begins, you must leave your cares and worries behind you and act as if you are starting afresh. It's not so far from the truth.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 23:09 | link | comments (1) |

Everything is falling into place!! All these ideas are rushing into my head, ideas that are possible for me to do. And I think I'm going to make the long haul home this weekend so I can shoot a whole bunch of my assignments! Meaning I won't have to find random people....at least not for a couple more weeks! Now as long as everything works out...it'll be WONDERFUL! Life will be amazing and I will be one happy camper.

I was playing with the links stuff over there --------> earlier and figured out how to make it more fun [ for me, anyway ]. I'm really not sure what that one thing is at the bottom of that column, or if it'll even do anything, but I saw it on someones site and thought I'd see what happened if I put it on mine. Ooooh the excitement  

Man I'm in a wonderful mood. I hope nothing makes this come crashing down. Wait, scratch that, I'm not gonna think like that! Today I accomplished very little during the day, but it still felt so good to get one of my commercial assignments half complete. Yeah, half...but its something, really. Its a BIG half.

In about a half hour I'm heading back into school to shoot another assignment, fully this time, however. And hopefully I will get so much more done on the computers. Now I just need to take this energy and apply it to my "home-life." We are in desperate need of groceries and the apartment could use some picking up. I feel bad cuz I'm always messing it up and then going to school, leaving it messy for Eric to deal with. I'm a bad girlfriend. Oh but he still loves me, anyway

Well I guess its time for me to get moving, otherwise I'll fall asleep. I'm soooo tired and yet so motivated, isn't that an oxymoron? Man it feels good to be happy with life, even if this doesnt last long, I appreciate it now. I think thats all that matters. 

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 19:04 | link | comments |

Oh what a boring life I lead. I haven't wrote in four days...I should have so much to write and yet I have nothing. Well, maybe not nothing. But not a lot.

On Thursday I saw the first picture of my friend Sarah's baby. She's about 3 months pregnant, that was pretty crazy! I've never been so excited about a sonogram picture. I could actually make out the baby. I'm really proud of her. She's doing everything she can to stay in school and be successful. She is going to be about 8 months along at graduation. She's been having morning sickness for the past month already. Hopefully that doesn't last long for her. I don't know how she does it.

I don't know if I could ever have kids. I've put some thought into it, and I just don't think I could ever handle it. I could possibly adopt, but not unless they were at least 2 years old or something. I just don't know if I could deal with a baby. They are too small, I wouldn't even hold any of my brothers kids until they were a couple months old.

So thats about all I've been doing all week. Lots of sleeping, going to school and thats basically it. Maybe my next post will be more exciting, but I'm definitely not promising anything. Its hard to do anything exciting when the cashflow is basically non-existent.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 23:20 | link | comments (1) |

Hey there. I just thought I'd post quick before the Nyquil takes full effect. I'm feeling better, more or less. I am running out of Kleenex and I have a chapped nose and I'm real unhappy about that!! But other than that I'm feeling much better.

I found out yesterday that I had to give my 10 minute speech today. Boy was that wonderful. Luckily I had started working on it a couple months ago when it was assigned, but I had a fever of almost 102 and couldnt concentrate to put it together or work on a slide show. So I was expecting to wake up without my voice, but it ended up being pretty okay. I drank some hot tea during my speech to keep my voice from going away. I dont know if its because I was sick or what, but I really wasn't too nervous. It was in front of about 40 people and I think I did pretty darn good! So I'm happy about that, and now that thats out of the way I have to start working on my 45 minute presentation with Amy which will be in front of about 170 or so.

Today I got most of my assignments for Phase III segment I. Holy DAMN, there are a LOT, at least fifteen [ due in three weeks ]. But I'm really excited about them. So I have to find models ASAP, so I'm not thrilled, but ah well, I can do it! I've got this can-do attitude today, not sure where its coming from, but I think its a good thing...

Hmm, did you know you skin will freeze in -20 weather in about a minute? I think thats about what the temp is gonna be with windchill factor for the rest of the week. That really sucks. I hate being cold! After school, I think I want to work for a photographer based in Hawaii...seriously. How great would that be, even if it was only like a few months job. A girl can dream...and thats what I'm off to do. G'nite

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 22:52 | link | comments (1) |

Wow, I feel like pure crap. I started getting sick on Thursday, all day that slight tickle in my throat making me cough. It was inevitable, I'd be sick by the weekend, no fun for me. At least thats what I thought. But it was more like Thursday night. I got it all in one day. But I was right about the fun part. Seems like everyone was doing fun stuff this weekend and I had to say, nope I'm sick, I can't go to the [party, movies, pool hall]. My head is so out in space, so if none of this ends up making sense, I'm blaming the sickness.

It came at a bad time, as usual. I had four assignments due Friday afternoon so I ended up turning in three and a little less than half of the fourth. I'm disappointed in myself about that, but I couldn't be in the darkroom any longer to finish up, what with the body aching, spaciness, overall tiredness and hot/cold flashes. I'm such a baby normally, but when I'm sick its even worse. And this freezing ass weather is killing me!! Step outside and two seconds later my entire body is numb. 

Friday was the last day in Phase II. Halfway marker. Now I have to go out and look for models for my assignments, no more using classmates. This will be both a bad and good thing. It'll be bad because I'm just lame and not always good with talking to random people, especially to be like "hey can I take your picture?" But it'll be a good thing, because its going to help me get over this. I figure if I post some flyers around the towns out here, if people call me then they want their picture taken, and that gets rid of the awkward do they or dont they feelings. So anyone out there wanna model for me? Some of my people from home better come visit me so I can use you!!

So does anyone have any good ideas on how to make myself feel better? I've been drinking lots of tea, sometime with honey, and taking dayquil and nyquil. Oh and lots of sleep and football. So far nothing has changed the way I feel...theres gotta be something I'm missing.

Oh yeah, I found my partner for the speech. Its my friend Amy, so I'm psyched about that. She's a positive, cool and relaxed type of person, so that should help me out, I think. Plus, we are allowed to turn the lights out and give a powerpoint presentation the whole time if we choose to do so. I definitely like the turn out the lights idea.

Yuck, did I just see Brett Favre chewing tobacco? I hope not. Not so attractive anymore...Well, my head is swimming and I should probably get back to my pillow and blanket now.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 19:45 | link | comments (2) |

Instead of writing in the comment section I thought I'd just address it here. First of all thanks for the wb, zithereen. Its good to be back.

The whole school issue is a little weird, I went to a regular state college for the past three years and then up and moved out here for school last fall. So now I won't be getting a degree because it's more like a tech school or something? I'll just get a certificate, but they like to say how "prestigious" a certificate it will be. But I guess I'm not too worried, who goes to get their picture taken and asks, "Can I see your diploma?" Nope, they say, "let me see your portfolio." So I should be okay.

Speaking of school, today I got assigned the photographer I have to speak about for 45 minutes. It's Mark Seliger, hadn't heard of him until today but his stuff is pretty cool. Anyway, I was all relaxed about the whole thing because there was supposed to be a group of 4 or something doing the speech and the talking didnt have to be divided up equally, so I was thinking, oooh I can get away with like 5 minutes or something. Until my teacher told me I'm in a group of TWO. I was just about crying when he announced that. And I dont even know who my partner is, because they are making us find whoever else has our photog on our own. Sounds stupid, right? IT IS. I've gotta sort through 150 or so others and find who that one other person is.

My teacher knows how bad I am at public speaking, he even MENTIONED it to the rest of the class, which didnt bother me so much, it was the fact that he knew it and I got put in a group of TWO. Grrr. I wish I was as annoying as I used to be. I used to think it was fun to talk in front of big groups of people, liked being the center of attention. Now over the years I've just sunk inside myself and pretty much suck, I guess.

I just realized I have no self esteem, thats a really shitty thing Well, I must have a little, but its practically nil. Maybe I can incorporate this into some sort of New Years resolution? Dare I bother? I usually just forget what I resolved, if I even bothered to do it. I did think of a couple in December that I should use, but, like everything else, if I dont write it down when I think of it - its gone, maybe not forever, but very much gone.

Well this is a decent sized chunk, I should probably post so that I don't lose it. My computer just seems to suck sometimes, but I still love it. I'd be lost without a computer, which I resent that about myself. Why do I need the internet to keep me happy? Thats just dumb, but its true. Ooooh I just remembered one of my previously thought resolutions!! I love it when something comes back to me, its like Christmas for my brain Anyway, side tracking will only make me forget again...I was thinking I should try to limit my time on the computer in 2004. I don't know if I can manage that...Its almost like a comfort for me. You know, some people eat, some sleep...I surf. Even if I dont have anything to look at I still feel the need to be online. So pathetic...

Hey Beth, can't wait to start reading your blog. Alright I have to get off of here, although I'm sure I'll be back on soon enough...

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 21:39 | link | comments (6) |

Okay, so I practically forgot about this thing and I wish I had time to really update, but I don't. I've only been back for about 24 hours and many of them have been used up by sleep and school. And I think thats pretty much how the rest of the year is going to be.

I can't believe I'm going to be all done in six months! I'm not ready to be serious about life yet. At all. Maybe by the time June rolls around I'll be ready. I was talking to some friends today and I can't believe we've been out of high school for just about four years already. Time has flown by and surprisingly we've actually done a whole lot of growing up.

Thinking back on things makes me feel old already. I'm going to be one of those people that get depressed when they hit 30, 25 maybe even.  I dont want to get old  Well thats enough of that. I guess its time to for me to crash--I"m so tired.

Brought to you by the letter Q and photofoxx at 21:55 | link | comments (2) |